You might come because:

·       The relationship is going through a bad patch

·       One or both of you wants to separate

·       You're adjusting to a new relationship

·       There are step-parenting difficulties

·       You can't resolve arguments

·       The relationship isn't as good as it used to be

·       You can't agree on how to bring up the children

Couples don’t always find it easy to talk to each other. Sometimes people only make the first appointment to see a therapist after years of unhappiness and exhausting striving, often doing more and more of the very things that aren’t working - or even driving their partners further away. 

It can be very difficult to initiate change, however deeply you are suffering, and making the first move to come and see a couples therapist may not be easy. But once you have taken this step, couples therapy can provide a safe and supportive space to help you make the most of your relationship and make the right choices about it.

You do not have to be married or living together to come for couples therapy, and I see both heterosexual and gay couples.

What will happen in sessions…

In couples therapy, you come together to sessions. You are encouraged to explore your relationship in a safe and supportive setting, to express your concerns and frustrations about the relationship and to constructively address the expectations, beliefs and entrenched patterns of relating that each of you may, without realizing it, be bringing to it.
 

You will both get the chance to say what you think. Both of you will be asked to comment on what the other has said. Through our conversations, we will work on finding ways forward to new solutions, or in some cases, look at how to separate in the best way possible.

Couples therapy can help you to…

·       communicate more effectively

·       learn how to listen to each other and to hear the unspoken messages beneath the words

·       understand and improve the way you deal with each other’s emotions

·       increase intimacy at all levels, including sexually

·       learn how to manage conflicts productively

·       have more fun together

·       repair the damage that jealousy, resentment and insecurity can cause

·       learn how to talk about difficult subjects

·       get more of what you want and less of what you don’t want

·       build trust and closeness

Ending the Relationship

Sometimes, one or both of a couple will come to the decision - either before entering therapy or during the course of it - that it will be best to end the relationship.

In these circumstances, the therapy provides a safe, thoughtful relationship in which the difficulties and painful feelings arising from relationship breakdown can be held and processed. 

In this space, difficult situations and decisions, including those involving children, finances and other matters, can be faced and resolved, giving separating partners the confidence to rebuild their lives.